D&D Villainfied
by Darling1
Summary: I hate summaries..oh, well a D&D game played with a handful of villains.


Disclaimers: I do not own the characters of Captain Planet nor Tasuki (which belongs to Fushigi Yuugi) nor Rockfort island (which belongs to Resident Evil) but Realm and Shade are mine.  
  
"Why are we here again?" Blight groaned as she put her car in park.  
"My guess is that your sister has an idea how to get rid of Captain Planet, it seemed he really pissed her off last week."  
Blight laughed.  
"I don't think we'll ever forget that,"  
"Hey, Blight!"  
She looked beside her.  
"Plunder, what are you doing here?" she was shocked.  
"I was hoping you could tell me the same thing, Shade called me this morning and wanted me to come over tonight." He straightened out his suit jacket; "I was hoping for it to be just the two of us but I see that you're here."  
"Oh, please, she wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole." Blight snarled.  
"It sounds like you're jealous, Dr." MAL put in.  
Suddenly a loud roar interrupted them as a huge monster truck pulled up.  
"Don't tell me she invited him!" Plunder said with disgust.  
"I hope she hid all her food." Blight said under her breath.  
Greedily and Rigger jumped from the vehicle.  
"Hey guys, how's it going?" Rigger greeted.  
"Do you know what this is all about?" Greedily shoved a candy bar into his mouth.  
"Your guess is as good as ours." Blight shrugged.  
"God, who all did she invite?" Plunder hissed as he spotted Nukum, Sludge and Skumm.  
"This plan ought to be good!" MAL exclaimed, "she probably invited all the Eco-Villains, what a smart kid."  
Blight cast him a look of anger.  
"Of coarse not as smart as you Dr." he recovered.  
The six of them exchanged greetings.  
"So none of you know why we are here?" Blight asked disgustedly knowing what all the men had hoped why they were here.  
"Exactly where is here?" Sludge looked around the empty dock.  
"Well obviously this is the right place, I mean all of us can't be wrong." Plunder informed.  
"Is that who I think it is?" Nukum pointed to the shadows of the warehouses where another figure was making his way towards them.  
"And...him too!" Sludge pointed to the sky.  
"How the hell did she get a hold of them?" Plunder was flabbergasted as Captain Pollution and Zarm joined their little group.  
"Do-"  
"No, none of us know why we are here!!!" Blight cut Zarm off.  
Just then the sound of a chopper filled the sky. All of them moved back as the aircraft prepared to land.  
"Hey," a slim young figure leaned out of the cockpit, dressed in a black belly shirt and gray, white and black camo pants, her black hair was put up into a ponytail and she was sucking on a Popsicle, "what's up."  
  
  
  
  
  
PART TWO: Why I am making Zarm a Ranger!  
  
"Hey," a slim young figure leaned out of the cockpit, dressed in a black belly shirt and gray, white and black camo pants, her black hair was put up into a ponytail and she was sucking on a Popsicle, "what's up."  
"They are," Blight nodded towards the men.  
Shade put the whole thing in her mouth and pulled out the stick.  
All the men's jaws dropped.  
"Is that a tongue ring sis?" Blight asked.  
"Uh huh, and check out what Aloni did," she removed her leather jacket and turned around.  
On her shoulder blade was a tattoo of a blue dragon against the moon.  
"And this," she pointed to her belly button piercing.  
"My sister is turning into Swiss cheese."  
Blight turned to Plunder who was gawking.  
"Hey," she smacked him, "snap out of it."  
"Wha-, oh sorry," he straightened out his tie, "what are we doing here?"  
"Yeah," Greedily nodded, "what do you want?"  
A sly smile spread across her face.  
"Get ready to play the best game of your entire life."  
They all looked at each other.  
"I have better things to do then play a stupid game," Zarm snarled.  
"Oh, let me guess, you are going to come up with another lame ass plan to destroy the earth then get beaten down by those stupid environmentalists, am I right?" Shade said with attitude.  
"No, this time I will prevail!" Zarm retaliated.  
"Right," she rolled her eyes, "just like the other seven times, face it, as a role model of mine used to say, Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably the lesson is never try."  
Zarm clenched his fists.  
The other Eco-Villains stepped back as Zarm advanced towards Shade. She in turn folded her arms and waited patiently with a smirk on her face. As Zarm got closer Shade jumped down from her vehicle.  
"Let's go!"  
Zarm saw that she was only 5'0 tall.  
"How about I beat your buffy ass down so we can be on our way?" she came up to his shoulder.  
"You're kidding right, shorty!" he shoved her down.  
The next thing he knew he was on the ground with a combat knife to his neck.  
"Lesson for the day," Shade stood above him, "don't mess with an ex-Marine."  
"Alright," Zarm gave in, "I'll play your silly little game."  
Shade backed off him.  
"You won't regret it, I promise you that!" she helped him up, "truce."  
Zarm took her hand.  
  
"Hey Shade," Blight said after 2 hours of flying and nearing an island, "this isn't a clean peaceful little island is it, you know I hate cleanliness."  
"Goes double for me." Captain Pollution noticed.  
"Far from it," she answered, "this Island suffered an unfortunate fate awhile back, you can still sense the effects from the virus."  
"Virus," Skumm became interested.  
"This Island was the home of the biological genius behind the T-Virus, Alfred Ashford."   
The helicopter landed on the ground.  
"People," Shade opened the hatch, "welcome to Rockfort Island."  
  
  
  
Part 3: Character Problems!  
  
"Welcome to Rockfort Island!"  
Shade gave an evil laugh.  
"Hey, yeah I heard about this place, is the virus still active?" Sludge said worriedly.  
Alarmingly one of the many bodies that were scattered among the ground gave a hungry moan and started pulling its upper half towards them.  
"No..." she took out a magnum, "but some of the victims are."  
  
"Realm," Shade yelled throughout the corridor once they arrived at the Residence, "I got them, do you have the characters ready?"  
No answer.  
"REALM!" she screamed.  
As if in answer one of the doors upstairs opened then slammed followed by light running footsteps then another opening and closing of a door.  
"Shade," a young woman jumped from the balcony, "get him away, stop him, he's evil I tell you, EVIL!"  
"Don't rely on her, lady love, she can't stop me," another person jumped right behind his victim, "AH-HA!"  
The young woman gave a cry of alarm and landed a backward kick into the man's stomach sending him against a marble pillar.  
"Ouch," the red-haired man groaned, "that was uncalled for, baby, unnecessary roughness."  
"You started it, you and those fangs of yours, look what they did to my neck, you left bite marks." She lifted her brown curly hair away from her slender neck.  
"Can you make Interview With the Vampire sequel later," Shade held back the girl as she prepared to attack the man again, "did you finish the characters?"  
Realm stopped struggling and nodded.  
"Shall we then."  
  
"So I am a half ogre," Nukum read his character sheet, "hey, neat, I have an axe, cool!"  
"What the hell is a Paladin?" Blight demanded.  
"A healer." Tasuki explained.  
"Oh, no, that is not my style," she shook her head.  
"Fine," Shade took her sheet and stole Riggers, "have the drow!"  
"But-" Rigger persisted.  
"There is no such thing as a Paladinless campaign, and you are going to heal people," Shade hissed, "K"  
"Does this mean I can cast spells?" Skumm raised his hand.  
"Unless wizards passed a new law about spell celibacy then yes." Shade informed.  
"I'm a Barbarian," Sludge said disgustedly, "isn't that like a caveman?"  
"Costume wise yes, intelligence no, you just like to fight a lot and check out your weapon."  
"No way, a double edged two handed sword, this guy rocks."  
"I can steal stuff." Greedily said as he crammed a handful of chips down his throat.  
"Yes," Shade nodded, "that's what thieves do."   
"What does a bard do?" Plunder waved his paper around.  
"You're an entertainer," Realm answered him, "you tell stories or you play a little guitar thing for money."  
"I'm a beggar?" he was shocked.  
"No, as a bard you have a lot of different skills, like thievery, wizardry, and other tricks."  
"Do you like yours, Captain Pollution?" Shade dared him to say anything.  
"What's there to like," he scowled, "I'm a dwarf, a smelly dwarf."  
"You people suck," Shade snatched his character sheet, "there, you're a Minotaur."  
"Alright!" he whooped.  
"Why don't I like the sound of a Ranger?" Zarm spat.  
"Because a ranger is someone like Captain Planet, spending time in the woods and tending to lost, frightened and hurt little creatures." Shade leaned over and looked at him with a wry smile.  
"You're dead!" he grabbed for her.  
"Come on Zarm, be a sport, we have to have a Ranger," she gripped his wrist, "face it, you shouldn't have pushed me down, besides the only time you have to act all nature like is if you see someone hurting a tree or something."  
"This is going to be fun," Blight whispered to Plunder.  
"What are those two?" he referred to Realm and Tasuki.  
"She's a swanmay, and he's a monk."  
"I'm afraid to ask what you are!"   
"I," she sat back in her chair, "am God!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
